We went to the canyons the other day. It's a state park, but it is so remote, the only people that go there are locals, or they are lost. Usually at some point(s) my husband and I end up taking off our clothes and making love every time we go. It's a very spiritual place.

I'll leave the topic of "open expressions of affection" for another blog. But you probably already know where I stand on it.

There were others there that day. I don't think they were lost, and I know they weren't from around here. Two guys bicycling. You can't really ride a bike there, it's too rocky and the paths are over grown. They had to pack their bikes in. We kept waiting for them to leave, but they didn't. We kept saying to each other, why are they still here, when will they go, they are just sitting there. So we left. Not a big deal, it's just a few miles away from us. I'm glad for them they got to experience the canyons. It's a very special place for us, I'm sure they were enjoying it too. By their gear, they seemed to be city folk. 

When we were leaving it occurred to me. What if they were saying the same thing. What if they were waiting on us to leave so they could take off their clothes and maybe make love.

I felt like a hypocrite. At least I saw it. I don't really know what I would have done if I'd have thought of it before we left. My husband and I are monogamous. But it's a big area, we could have all had our space. But how would I have approached them on the subject? Hey, want to get naked? Good, so do we, we'll go over here.

Something else that irks me, maybe about myself, maybe about society.The bicyclists were taking off their shirts and jumping in the water. I always feel discriminated against in times like these. Some have said I have "penis envy". I don't think that is correct. Why can't I take off my shirt and jump in? For one, if the park ranger showed up, I'd be in trouble, not them. 

Maybe I should have just done it. Maybe I'm upset with myself for not having the courage to say society is wrong. Could it be that I am the one who is wrong? Women should have breast coverage in public. 

I've nursed three kids, I'm 41. I have a naturally sagging pair of breasts. I don't wear a bra so I don't know my cup size, maybe a B. I'm not interested in being looked at or admired in my nudity. I just want to feel, the water, the wind, the sun on my skin. Just like a man does when he takes off his shirt.  

My nipples are pierced. I wonder how that would have added to the equation.  

I work in the medical field. I see mastectomy patients all the time. What if I had no breasts, would I then be able to take my shirt off and not be "indecently exposed"? I doubt it.

I'm just about so frustrated with the American culture, if I didn't have to work the next day, I just might have taken the risk of spending the night in jail. Isn't that what happens when a person takes off more clothes than our society allows? I don't really know. But I'm sure not going to apologize.

Now my argument starts to get all off track. Am I arguing for an equality in spirituality? I see my nudity not as just stripping, but as sky clad. I have an attraction to the sun more than the moon. Am I arguing for male/female equality, in what is socially acceptable? Cultures around the world are comfortable with female breasts. Another issue, had I exposed myself and been raped by those there that day, it would have been looked at as my fault for taking my shirt off, I encouraged it.

I know for the most part I'm preaching to the choir. I'm thankful to be able to rant here on Covenspace.